I’m Alison and I’m a fat girl (size 14) who does things!
I skate longboard…
I play roller derby (Memphis Roller Derby)…
…and I tattoo for a living! Check me out! :)
Tbh fat people get so much body positivity and stuff. That's great and all, but exclusive. In my opinion, more people should be saying "you're beautiful no matter what" rather than "you're beautiful even if you're not skinny" because I, being naturally thin, get a lot of shit too. I once went into a hospital because of my appendix and the nurses were addressing my "anorexia" as if it was a given that I had it. I don't. And yet, on a daily basis I hear: "are u anorexic? U look like a twig" sucks.
(cont’d) I’m honestly not trying to be rude or say you should change your blog. I just wanted to put it out there that skinny people get shit too
The reason we “get” so much body positivity is because we actually get a fuckton more body negativity. Putting a focus on fat bodies in body positivity as well as fat positivity is not meant to exclude anyone; in fact, it’s the exact opposite. Too often I have seen people, organizations, and movements talk the body posi talk, but they actually only include the sorts of bodies that are already considered good, attractive, desirable, etc, by most of society - thin, conventionally pretty bodies.
Having people assume you have a condition just based on how you look is really messed up, and I totally sympathize with you because the same thing happens to me all the time. Healthcare professionals, co-workers, family, and even complete strangers will assume they know something about my health just because of the body I have. It is so frustrating, and it just doesn’t make sense - someone’s appearance doesn’t determine their health. We are on the same side in that respect: both of us want people to stop making judgments about our health based on our bodies. The difference, of course, is that much of the world strongly prefers and favors your body type.
And, yes, I know that skinny people get shit, too. I know because I’ve heard those comments directed at my friends. I know because women’s bodies are always scrutinized and then heavily criticized for every perceived flaw. I also know because whenever we fat people talk about being fat, loving your fat body, fat acceptance movements, and so on, skinny people come crawling out of the woodwork to say “but skinny people!!!” That’s one of the reasons we have fat-specific body posi spaces: because hearing those people with socially acceptable bodies complain about how hard they have it is really freaking annoying.
There are lots of body positive blogs, movements, and organizations out there that encompass a wide range of body types. I encourage you to seek them out and see bodies like yours celebrated along with everyone else’s.
how do I become more confident? my boyfriend and I started a blog for us to share and we're posting pictures of us in regular moments and some nsfw pictures but while testing different light I noticed that I look different than I thought :(.
First thing to remember: cameras do not tell the whole story. If you use a flash, it can flatten you out and give you sharp edges. If the light is at the wrong or right angle, that can totally change how you look. And a photograph is a single instant in time. The way a person moves, their gestures, their body language is part of how we perceive them (and ourselves), so when you strip that away and look at only a single moment, it’s not going to be the same. The camera is NOT more honest than your own perception. People say the camera doesn’t lie, but it very much does, or can.
Story time! I went to my brother’s wedding a few years ago in an outfit I adored. Black leggings, black patent pumps, and a silky sleeveless tunic that was plain black in the back, but the front was a pattern of sequins in champagne and gold and silver. (It was a small wedding held in her family’s house with only family in attendance and held on very short notice, so we weren’t being fussy about Wedding Appropriate Outfits. It was the fanciest top I owned at the time, so it became my wedding outfit.) I remember looking at myself in the full-length mirror at my house before we left, makeup and hair done beautifully, and thinking “hot damn I look fucking amazing”. My husband agreed, and we went and had a great time.
A few days later, her mom posted some of the pics from the wedding on Facebook, tagging the people who were in them. I went and looked…and promptly untagged myself from them because I did NOT want those showing up on my page at all, ever. I looked pasty and chinless and my face looked weirdly wide. It was absurd. And for a few days, I was super upset. Had I been totally wrong about looking good that day? I had genuinely thought I did! Maybe I wasn’t nearly as hot as I thought. Which threw me into doubt about every OTHER time I’d thought I looked good. Maybe I was never pretty at all. Maybe I was just deluding myself. And it took me awhile to get over that, to remember that the camera does not tell the whole story, and sure I looked like death in those pics, but you know what? I’m gonna trust my own eyes and my own mirror, and my friends and my husband and the people who *do* think I look good. Not to mention other pics I’ve taken where I looked completely different to that day, or at least to those particular photos from that day.
Moral of the story: cameras lie, and you don’t have to accept them as some kind of Revealed Truth.
(Also, be careful about what foundation you use when you’re going to have pictures taken. I’m pretty sure that was at least half the problem, in hindsight. ”Dewy” finish foundation + flash? BRILLIANT FUCKING WHITE FACE with absolutely no contours and the illusion of flatness/width. Oops.)
Anyway, as for the rest of How To Confidence, check out this post. I think the blogging you’re doing with your boyfriend will really help over time. Remind me sometime to tell y’all about my daily selfies project and how that kind of changed my life re self-perception and self-esteem. Positive representation in general is awesome, but positive *personal* representation is even more powerful.