Tagged: asks.

I have a question. I watch ABC family a lot, and I've been thinking of starting to watch the show 'Huge', because it's a show about fat people, but it takes place at a weight loss camp, so I'm not sure if its actually fat friendly or not (even though the title image comes across as fat positive). If it's not at least 75% fat positive I have no interest in watching it. Do you or any of your followers watch Huge? Is it a safe show to watch?


Hi, anon. 

So I marathoned Huge last summer and mostly really enjoyed it. There is a lot of diet talk and encouragement of weight loss. It’s all definitely presented in a critical way, and the main character is super not into the idea of losing weight. She doesn’t want to be there at all. There were portions of the show that were tough to watch and some stuff that had me cheering.

I would say that it is overall a fat posi show but there is still a buttload of fat negativity, diet talk, talk of eating disorders and weight loss.

Followers, what do you all think?

-raggedyanndy

03:26 pm, question from Anonymous, answered by fuckyeahfatpositive 12

ive been scrolling thru the 4chan threads to watch out and see who they might target and the link to this blog showed up so im sending a lil warning message just in case (unless they already sent something then im sorry ;___;) maybe try disabling ur ask or anon,, i hope u stay safe!! pls dont post this message so they dont know what im doing,, nd im sorry im on anon bcus im also trying to stay safe,,


hey, thanks for the heads up. for those who don’t know, 4chan has been trolling tumblr for the last day or so and posting gory pictures and screamers and other crap in tags like fat positive, lgbt, and feminism. keep that in mind, and tumble safe, sweeties.

11:26 pm, question from Anonymous, answered by fuckyeahfatpositive 25

Can I ask a request for photos? Photos of fat girls cosplaying, especially above a US size 20, and most especially cosplaying the characters fat girls aren't "supposed" to cosplay. I'm trying to build up the courage, at a size 24/26, to cosplay.


Readers, assemble!  Submit your pics and links and stories to us!

I know we reblog from one fat cosplayer fairly regularly when she submits links (I cannot remember your name for the life of me right now and I’m so sorry!), but I’m sure there are more of you out there.

Also check out some other tumblrs about fat cosplay.  And the tag.

I hope you find the inspiration and reassurance you need!  Now go forth and cosplay your gorgeous heart out.

11:56 pm, question from serpentsgarden, answered by fuckyeahfatpositive 39

Tbh fat people get so much body positivity and stuff. That's great and all, but exclusive. In my opinion, more people should be saying "you're beautiful no matter what" rather than "you're beautiful even if you're not skinny" because I, being naturally thin, get a lot of shit too. I once went into a hospital because of my appendix and the nurses were addressing my "anorexia" as if it was a given that I had it. I don't. And yet, on a daily basis I hear: "are u anorexic? U look like a twig" sucks.


(cont’d) I’m honestly not trying to be rude or say you should change your blog. I just wanted to put it out there that skinny people get shit too

————————————————————————————————

The reason we “get” so much body positivity is because we actually get a fuckton more body negativity. Putting a focus on fat bodies in body positivity as well as fat positivity is not meant to exclude anyone; in fact, it’s the exact opposite. Too often I have seen people, organizations, and movements talk the body posi talk, but they actually only include the sorts of bodies that are already considered good, attractive, desirable, etc, by most of society - thin, conventionally pretty bodies. 

Having people assume you have a condition just based on how you look is really messed up, and I totally sympathize with you because the same thing happens to me all the time. Healthcare professionals, co-workers, family, and even complete strangers will assume they know something about my health just because of the body I have. It is so frustrating, and it just doesn’t make sense - someone’s appearance doesn’t determine their health. We are on the same side in that respect: both of us want people to stop making judgments about our health based on our bodies. The difference, of course, is that much of the world strongly prefers and favors your body type.

And, yes, I know that skinny people get shit, too. I know because I’ve heard those comments directed at my friends. I know because women’s bodies are always scrutinized and then heavily criticized for every perceived flaw. I also know because whenever we fat people talk about being fat, loving your fat body, fat acceptance movements, and so on, skinny people come crawling out of the woodwork to say “but skinny people!!!” That’s one of the reasons we have fat-specific body posi spaces: because hearing those people with socially acceptable bodies complain about how hard they have it is really freaking annoying.

There are lots of body positive blogs, movements, and organizations out there that encompass a wide range of body types. I encourage you to seek them out and see bodies like yours celebrated along with everyone else’s.

-raggedyanndy

08:11 pm, question from foggy-bloggy, answered by fuckyeahfatpositive 70

Like for instance those two naked art posts you just reblogged today.


Those were already in the queue before the asks about tagging nudity were sent.  Much as we may hate to admit it, your mods are human and we do fuck things up sometimes.  We are sorry, and going back and looking at them now they are tagged with both #nsfw and #nudity.  

11:21 pm, question from Anonymous, answered by fuckyeahfatpositive 2

1st let me say I'm very new to fat positivity so I have some questions. I'm no small girl myself so this isn't that. Please don't be offended if I say something wrong, I'm just trying to learn. I see that you say there are no discussions of diet. I like that. Diet has become a dangerous word. However, does the fat positive movement deal with health at all? Exercise/healthy eating? Obvs you can still be healthy and fat so I just wondered.


Just FYI, we don’t tend to be an educational space so much, but I figure this is something people will wonder from time to time, so I’ll go ahead and answer this.

First, the short answer is, yes and no.  The *fat positive* movement isn’t health-focused, not because we’ve got anything against it, but just because it’s a separate issue (though there is some overlap as well).  However, there’s a cousin movement called Health At Every Size, which began with Linda Bacon’s book of the same name, which is specifically about divorcing healthy behaviors from a weight-loss context.  HAES is what you want to look into if this is a subject that interests you.

And I guess I would add that, fat positivity is about health, in the sense that A: mental health is health too, and fat positivity works wonders at helping us root out internalized fat-hate and start repairing the damage done to our self-esteem and ability to properly care for ourselves (I mean, how much effort are you going to put into taking care of something you’ve spent your life hating?), and B: actual studies have shown that fat positivity actually leads to increased participation in physical activity - seeing as how one of the major goals of fat positivity is to remove the stigma against Fatting In Public, and when people look at you funny for running or working out or playing sports while simultaneously being fat, that’s a major barrier to participation in exercise, you know?  Take that away and funnily enough fat people get a lot less adamant about shying away from such things.

But as far as specifically focusing on exercise and food choices, fat positivity isn’t really about that so much.  I think the best way I heard it explained was, HAES is a diet/exercise/physical self-care philosophy, and Fat Acceptance is the social/political movement that works in tandem with it.

For more discussions on the intersections of fatness, FA, and HAES, I really recommend checking out Ragen Chastain of Dances With Fat.  She’s an activist and professional dancer, founder of the Fit Fatties exercise forum among other things.  Check out her blog, there’s lots of posts about this stuff, and I find myself quoting her more often than not when I get into discussions with people about these issues.

12:42 am, question from laurenriff, answered by fuckyeahfatpositive 60

Do you have any suggestions for fat dating tumblrs? (Or any ones to particularly avoid?) Thank you!


This, I cannot answer.  Followers, any suggestions?

05:34 pm, question from Anonymous, answered by fuckyeahfatpositive 10

that last submission had slightly problematic wording when they said they were a smaller size on a good day. idk just implied to me that she felt it was better to be smaller.


On the one hand, you’re absolutely right, and I’m sorry we didn’t catch that.

On the other hand, people have a right to describe their own size the way they’re comfortable with, and if a person is still working through a lifetime’s worth of fat-hate training, it’s easy to still have stuff like that sneaking in, so I’m disinclined to police people’s self-descriptions.

So let’s consider this a general reminder: keep an eye out for the little things like that, not just when you’re talking to us, but in general.  It’s kind of amazing (in an awful way) how much detritus, how many little scraps like that you’ll find when you’re alert to it, but realizing it is the first step to undoing it.  Not only is that kinder to your fellow fatties by not perpetuating microaggressions in a safe space, but I think you’ll find it has a positive effect on your own self-concept, too.  

12:45 am, question from Anonymous, answered by fuckyeahfatpositive 17

how do I become more confident? my boyfriend and I started a blog for us to share and we're posting pictures of us in regular moments and some nsfw pictures but while testing different light I noticed that I look different than I thought :(.


First thing to remember: cameras do not tell the whole story.  If you use a flash, it can flatten you out and give you sharp edges.  If the light is at the wrong or right angle, that can totally change how you look.  And a photograph is a single instant in time.  The way a person moves, their gestures, their body language is part of how we perceive them (and ourselves), so when you strip that away and look at only a single moment, it’s not going to be the same.  The camera is NOT more honest than your own perception.  People say the camera doesn’t lie, but it very much does, or can.

Story time!  I went to my brother’s wedding a few years ago in an outfit I adored.  Black leggings, black patent pumps, and a silky sleeveless tunic that was plain black in the back, but the front was a pattern of sequins in champagne and gold and silver.  (It was a small wedding held in her family’s house with only family in attendance and held on very short notice, so we weren’t being fussy about Wedding Appropriate Outfits.  It was the fanciest top I owned at the time, so it became my wedding outfit.)  I remember looking at myself in the full-length mirror at my house before we left, makeup and hair done beautifully, and thinking “hot damn I look fucking amazing”.  My husband agreed, and we went and had a great time.  

A few days later, her mom posted some of the pics from the wedding on Facebook, tagging the people who were in them.  I went and looked…and promptly untagged myself from them because I did NOT want those showing up on my page at all, ever.  I looked pasty and chinless and my face looked weirdly wide.  It was absurd.  And for a few days, I was super upset.  Had I been totally wrong about looking good that day?  I had genuinely thought I did!  Maybe I wasn’t nearly as hot as I thought.  Which threw me into doubt about every OTHER time I’d thought I looked good.  Maybe I was never pretty at all.  Maybe I was just deluding myself.  And it took me awhile to get over that, to remember that the camera does not tell the whole story, and sure I looked like death in those pics, but you know what?  I’m gonna trust my own eyes and my own mirror, and my friends and my husband and the people who *do* think I look good.  Not to mention other pics I’ve taken where I looked completely different to that day, or at least to those particular photos from that day.

Moral of the story: cameras lie, and you don’t have to accept them as some kind of Revealed Truth.  

(Also, be careful about what foundation you use when you’re going to have pictures taken.  I’m pretty sure that was at least half the problem, in hindsight.  ”Dewy” finish foundation + flash?  BRILLIANT FUCKING WHITE FACE with absolutely no contours and the illusion of flatness/width.  Oops.)

Anyway, as for the rest of How To Confidence, check out this post.  I think the blogging you’re doing with your boyfriend will really help over time.  Remind me sometime to tell y’all about my daily selfies project and how that kind of changed my life re self-perception and self-esteem.  Positive representation in general is awesome, but positive *personal* representation is even more powerful.  

-Jadelyn

12:38 am, question from Anonymous, answered by fuckyeahfatpositive 36