fuck yeah fat positive

It’s a semi-reclaimed term - not quite a direct reclamation, like “queer” or “cunt”, because “death fatty” hasn’t, to my knowledge, actually been used by fat-haters.  But it’s our way of thumbing our collective nose at the health-based concern-trolling you so often see running along the lines of “it’s okay to be a little bit overweight, but when you’re [250/300/400/whatever arbitrary number a given person decides they’re not okay with] pounds it’s just unhealthy, your fat is going to kill you!”  

So when large-fat people (I’d say probably size 24+?) use “death fatty” as a joking self-identifier, they’re saying “lol that’s right assholes, I’m so big I’m a super-death-fatty and I don’t care what you think about it!”  It’s a way of saying, “I know what you think about my body and I give so few fucks about your opinion that I’m going to gleefully take your condemnation and use it as a positive thing for myself.”  

Of course, “death fatty”, like any other reclaimed term, will be okay with some people and not okay with others, so don’t assume that a given fat person is okay with it, whatever their size.  

More information for the Great Underoos Search 2k13!

Congrats on your graduation, first of all!  

The way I see it, you’ve got two options.  One would be to pointedly ask your family, “I’m sorry, can you remind me whose graduation this is?”  Because it’s YOURS, not theirs.  Your day of escape triumph and it’s supposed to be about you and your accomplishment and finishing this stage of your journey and all that.  So you have every right to look how you want (barring getting kicked out of the graduation for wearing cutoffs and sandals, but w’ev).  

Alternatively, you can try to find a “compromise” dress, something you find comfortable and your family will STFU about find dressy enough.  Dressy doesn’t have to mean tight - maybe you could find a dress that has the loose, comfortable fit you want, in a slightly fancier fabric, or you could dress up your comfortable choices with fancy heels and shiny accessories.

This can actually go well with the stand-your-ground approach, in that if you start strong with “this is *my* graduation and therefore my decision”, you can then “soften” it with “but if you’re that worried about my being dressed-up enough I’ll wear [necklace/heels/etc] with the dress I already chose.”  

Remember: you’re basically an adult now, so don’t ask permission - open a negotiation instead!  

So really, it’s up to you.  Are you comfortable with standing up to your mom and brother about this?  Stand your ground and tell them what they can do with their body-policing!  If you’d rather not deal with the fallout from that, like I said, think comfortable but nice fabric/details, or accessorize with sparkly things.  

Good luck, and congrats again!  - jadelyn

I mean, I’m not exactly the right person to ask about dating profiles, BUT i think being straightforward like you put here would be good. “I’m totally into larger ladies because I’d love someone I can be a fat babe together with.” or something along those lines? 

FOLLOWERS, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Seriously? Wear what you want. It’s your money - go for it! You could also tell your mom that it’s your body, your money, and therefore your choice of swimsuit.

So first I want to make sure that your friend actually wants to wear different clothes, ‘cause if she’s cool with what she wears but you think she has no idea how to dress, then that’s your problem, not hers.

SO! Assuming that your friend has confided in you that she wants your help with clothing decisions:

The important thing is for her to try stuff on to get an idea of what she likes and doesn’t like. So, let’s say the two of you go shopping together. Encourage her to try new styles, but don’t pressure her to try on or not try on something if she really doesn’t want to. If she asks your advice, give it, and be kind and honest. Offer to help find layering pieces, different sizes, etc, or to talk to salespeople if she’s not comfortable with that. (I know it can be nerve-wracking sometimes to ask some skinny sales person to find a size 22 or whatever!)

If your friend wears a bra, I would encourage her to get a fitting done. Wearing the right size and style of bra makes everything feel better. You could go to some place like Lane Bryant to get fitted and then go someplace with cheaper bras to actually buy them.

Cheap stores with plus sizes, off the top of my head:

• Wal-mart
• Kmart
• Target
• Old Navy
• Sears
• JC Penney
• most department stores

Also, as someone with a big stomach, I would recommend, if you can find it cheap, maternity clothes! I have a bunch of maternity tanks and tees. They’re made longer and with bigger stomachs and more stretch, which makes them great for us big belly babes.

You’ll notice I’m not talking much about the apple shape thing. That’s because clothes and bodies and things are all very different and what a person feels comfortable wearing and wants to wear is way more important than what dressing to fit a certain shape.

submit submit submit please, apple-shaped people?